Post by simplykali on Aug 22, 2009 13:27:59 GMT -5
Some have heard part of this story but I'll just post the whole deal.
A couple years ago my boyfriend Aaron and I became roommates with some friends of ours that we hung out with on a pretty regular basis. The girl, "X" had gotten into a fight with her brother and so he packed his stuff and moved out. They were short on rent and needed the help so we helped them out by moving in. On the first day, Aaron and I insisted that we figure out some ground rules so that we could all be happy. "X" didn't think that was necessary, but we agreed that we would alternate buying groceries every week.
Then the problems started. They seemed so small at the time but then they blew up. Rules that were instigated by "X" (even though she kept saying we didn't need rules): Aaron and I couldn't sit on the couch and neither could our guests. So we bought our own couch from a yard sale but until we did that we sat on the floor when "X" was around, otherwise I (and not Aaron) had to listen to how "inconsiderate" we were for sitting on the couch. We could not use the back porch, even though that was the easiest access door from the driveway. So we walked all the way around the building to use the front door. We had to park in a certain spot because "X"'s boyfriend who also lived with us liked the other spot. If our friend "R" came over, we were responsible for him (even though she invited him over half the time when we weren't even home, we still got bitched at if she didn't like his behavior and it was our fault). Clean up after yourself (which we did and they did not. I even got yelled at for not vacuuming even though she told me not to because it was her responsibility to clean up the cat and dog hair. I offered several times to do chores around the house that were "her" responsibility, she always said "no" and then yelled at me for not helping.)
On top of the rules that weren't rules, I was told (while Aaron was gone) that she could steal him away from me whenever she wanted. I was told that I was ugly, fat, weird, dumb on a pretty regular basis. When I needed to study for a test and told "X" she would take that time to vacuum, blast the music on 10, and watch TV. Not to mention the fact that the bills, in her name, needed to be paid and she kept taking the bill and rent money to buy pot. Then she and her boyfriend would ask for a loan of money to pay bills which they would "pay back". Luckily we never fell into that trap. Oh, and they never bought groceries either but were perfectly happy eating the food that Aaron and I bought.
We got out after a month and a half of being bitched at, yelled at, made fun of, and abused. Mostly that was me. Our last straw was a letter dropped off to Aaron at work, telling us about how lazy and inconsiderate we were. We packed up the $100 worth of groceries in the fridge, all my pots, pans, plates, glasses, utensils, and our DVD player that they were using in their bedroom without asking and got in the car. Christmas break. What fun.
Later, I learned that she was trying to make my life hell on purpose because she thought it was amusing and she never liked me in the first place.
BUT, she was out of my life. I was happy. Then I started working at the Youth Center and a little girl named Kaylee started coming. She is so sweet, 10 years old, nice, funny, and I really like her. Her dad owns a store in town which I visit. And who did I see at such store? "X", who has been dating Kaylee's dad for a couple of weeks and was taking Kaylee out to the movies and to dinner. I am once again filled with HATE. I don't want her to hurt Kaylee and her dad but I can't really say anything to them since I don't know them that well and it's none of my business. Plus, I am seeing her around town all the time and I can't avoid that. PLUS, she is the type of girl to pick a fight and even though she looks like a twig, I have never fought anyone in my entire life because that is not the type of person I am. I don't know anything about defending myself. This is not what I enjoy dealing with. And did I mention HATE?
This is a form of HATE that I have never felt before. This is a fully loathing, my day is ruined just because I heard her NAME type of HATE that I just cannot get rid of. I try to tell myself, "Well, she could be different now. Maybe karma caught up with her and she has AIDS or something" but it doesn't help. I have never HATED anyone the way I HATE her.
She made me feel bad about myself. She made me doubt myself. She tried to steal my boyfriend for the fun of it. She stole things from one of my best friends. She almost got us kicked out of the apartment because she wouldn't pay rent on time and played music so loud that the tenant downstairs complained. She made me cry on a weekly basis. She was making my life hell on purpose AND EVERYTHING was MY fault according to her. I wasn't good enough and I wasn't talented or smart enough and even though I cooked dinner she could have done it better, all while the boys were at work and we were alone. She attacked me mentally and emotionally when the boys were not home. She did it in such a subtle way that at first, wasn't bad, but built up like in an abusive relationship. I started to believe that she was right. And all I want is to not feel this HATE anymore.
Any advice?
A couple years ago my boyfriend Aaron and I became roommates with some friends of ours that we hung out with on a pretty regular basis. The girl, "X" had gotten into a fight with her brother and so he packed his stuff and moved out. They were short on rent and needed the help so we helped them out by moving in. On the first day, Aaron and I insisted that we figure out some ground rules so that we could all be happy. "X" didn't think that was necessary, but we agreed that we would alternate buying groceries every week.
Then the problems started. They seemed so small at the time but then they blew up. Rules that were instigated by "X" (even though she kept saying we didn't need rules): Aaron and I couldn't sit on the couch and neither could our guests. So we bought our own couch from a yard sale but until we did that we sat on the floor when "X" was around, otherwise I (and not Aaron) had to listen to how "inconsiderate" we were for sitting on the couch. We could not use the back porch, even though that was the easiest access door from the driveway. So we walked all the way around the building to use the front door. We had to park in a certain spot because "X"'s boyfriend who also lived with us liked the other spot. If our friend "R" came over, we were responsible for him (even though she invited him over half the time when we weren't even home, we still got bitched at if she didn't like his behavior and it was our fault). Clean up after yourself (which we did and they did not. I even got yelled at for not vacuuming even though she told me not to because it was her responsibility to clean up the cat and dog hair. I offered several times to do chores around the house that were "her" responsibility, she always said "no" and then yelled at me for not helping.)
On top of the rules that weren't rules, I was told (while Aaron was gone) that she could steal him away from me whenever she wanted. I was told that I was ugly, fat, weird, dumb on a pretty regular basis. When I needed to study for a test and told "X" she would take that time to vacuum, blast the music on 10, and watch TV. Not to mention the fact that the bills, in her name, needed to be paid and she kept taking the bill and rent money to buy pot. Then she and her boyfriend would ask for a loan of money to pay bills which they would "pay back". Luckily we never fell into that trap. Oh, and they never bought groceries either but were perfectly happy eating the food that Aaron and I bought.
We got out after a month and a half of being bitched at, yelled at, made fun of, and abused. Mostly that was me. Our last straw was a letter dropped off to Aaron at work, telling us about how lazy and inconsiderate we were. We packed up the $100 worth of groceries in the fridge, all my pots, pans, plates, glasses, utensils, and our DVD player that they were using in their bedroom without asking and got in the car. Christmas break. What fun.
Later, I learned that she was trying to make my life hell on purpose because she thought it was amusing and she never liked me in the first place.
BUT, she was out of my life. I was happy. Then I started working at the Youth Center and a little girl named Kaylee started coming. She is so sweet, 10 years old, nice, funny, and I really like her. Her dad owns a store in town which I visit. And who did I see at such store? "X", who has been dating Kaylee's dad for a couple of weeks and was taking Kaylee out to the movies and to dinner. I am once again filled with HATE. I don't want her to hurt Kaylee and her dad but I can't really say anything to them since I don't know them that well and it's none of my business. Plus, I am seeing her around town all the time and I can't avoid that. PLUS, she is the type of girl to pick a fight and even though she looks like a twig, I have never fought anyone in my entire life because that is not the type of person I am. I don't know anything about defending myself. This is not what I enjoy dealing with. And did I mention HATE?
This is a form of HATE that I have never felt before. This is a fully loathing, my day is ruined just because I heard her NAME type of HATE that I just cannot get rid of. I try to tell myself, "Well, she could be different now. Maybe karma caught up with her and she has AIDS or something" but it doesn't help. I have never HATED anyone the way I HATE her.
She made me feel bad about myself. She made me doubt myself. She tried to steal my boyfriend for the fun of it. She stole things from one of my best friends. She almost got us kicked out of the apartment because she wouldn't pay rent on time and played music so loud that the tenant downstairs complained. She made me cry on a weekly basis. She was making my life hell on purpose AND EVERYTHING was MY fault according to her. I wasn't good enough and I wasn't talented or smart enough and even though I cooked dinner she could have done it better, all while the boys were at work and we were alone. She attacked me mentally and emotionally when the boys were not home. She did it in such a subtle way that at first, wasn't bad, but built up like in an abusive relationship. I started to believe that she was right. And all I want is to not feel this HATE anymore.
Any advice?