Post by E on May 17, 2009 14:58:30 GMT -5
Perhaps someone who is considering a homebirth will find this and get the same support to their decision I found from Laura Shanley's unassistedchildbirth.com
Now for the disclaimer. Those of you underage should NOT read this. Those of you with "tender constitutions" should not read this. And finally those who have any degrading comments, keep them to yourself.
drumroll please....
The labor started late wednesday night. At first it was only mild, almost gentle contractions coupled with a little blood on my toilet paper when I pee'd. They seemed like all of the braxton hicks I'd been having for weeks, until I realized they were somewhat stuccato. Nothing I could pinpoint, as they were nearly a couple hours apart, but they definitely had a rhythm to them. So soft and gentle I could sleep through them, I thought they were nothing.
Thursday morning at 7a Grandpa called from the hospital and said he needed help, come now. Shawn (my wonderful husband) had left at 6:30a to begin the morning rounds of dropping off the kids at school and battling traffic. I grabbed my keys and flew out the door to realize the contractions were still there and stronger. I sat with Grandpa (the nurses were in the middle of shift change when he called and were not responding to him to his liking) for a couple hours and just chatted. I got up to pee a few times, finding a thin snot-like bloody show each trip. The second pee trip I had the urge to poo and realized I had a very soft stool and much more show.
The contractions were much stronger too, although I kept thinking "This isn't really it, I couldn't be so lucky". After all, I had tried natural inductions like raspberry leaf tea, walking-walking-walking and orgasm unsuccessfully since my first due date three weeks earlier. I called my sister-in-law and told her I thought I was in labor so she said she would come down and sit with Grandpa and keep him company so I could leave. I then called Shawn to tell him I'd be on my way home any minute.
At about 10 or 10:15a I was having contractions 20 minutes apart, lasting a minute(that's a guess as I never timed them with any consistency). I texted Sammie(s-i-l) and asked her if she was coming to sit with Grandpa. She was on her way and there by 10:30a. When she arrived she walked me out to the truck and made me call Shawn, (to tell him I was leaving the hospital) who was headed home from dropping the kids off at school. He was already home and had been waiting since I had told him I was on the way after talking to Sammie the first time (oops I thought she'd be there quicker).
The drive home was interesting, if not short. I remember the contractions seeming to be shooting down my gas pedal leg and thinking, "Great. I'm going to run up someone's ass because my leg twitches". Shawn called me to see where I was and I had to admit I had pulled over into the e-lane until the contraction passed. I came home to my poor flustered husband eyeballing me like I was going to turn purple and balloon up like Violet from Willy Wonka. We spent the rest of the morning in relative calm, ate, did some chores, prepared our birthing area, bickered and I think just tried to keep our mind off of the gravity that we were really going to have a homebirth.
Homebirth was a decision we came to somewhere in the beginning of our pregnancy. We agreed a midwife assisted childbirth was preferable to going through the fiasco of a hospital birth again. I began researching homebirth, hospital birth alternatives and anything that remote resembled a possibility of working for us. Shawn would read what I put in front of him but I think he really was relying on the midwife to direct the show. I must have been in or near my fifth month of pregnancy when we decided to have our child unassisted. We had gone to meet with a midwife and have a prenatal exam with her. I suppose when we were all said and done I wasn't pleased with how routine she treated the situation. Sweet woman don't get me wrong, she just knew her job and treated us as such. When we left that appointment we discussed Shawn delivering our child. At first he looked at me like I was mad for even suggesting it, but by the time we got home we had agreed that it was only right for us to bring our child into this world, as we were the ones whom conceived him. This was going to be a chance for us to bond and heal me from our previous experience. I felt so out of touch with my womanly center after Aj's (our third child, second son) birth I saw this as an opportunity to heal that feeling of being "just a vessel".
I began reading everything I could get my eyes on about unassisted homebirth. Shawn ordered books about birthing positions, how-to guides for preparation and birth stories written from father's perspectives. He honestly was so much more involved and interested in this pregnancy knowing when the time came he was the one that would help me. The joke became "Dr. Shawn" thanks to his best friend Anthony's brand of humor.
It was interesting to see the varying reactions our friends and family had when we shared our plans. Those who did not support our decision grudgingly accepted it on the pretense that should a problem arise we would seek medical assistance immediately. I found it wonderful that some of our friends were not only supportive but excited for us. A dear group of friends were such great support when I really needed to hear I was making a valid decision. I wanted this birth to be a spiritually healing journey that would allow me to feel comfortable within my womanhood again. I wanted to experience this childbirth for what it should be. A bonding between husband and wife and a journey through the transition from pregnant to mothering.
Well, back to the labor then. Shawn called Sammie and asked her to pick the kids up from school, as he thought we were too close to be far from home and did not want to be gone when the time came. At some point mid afternoon before they made it home Shawn and I decided to replace our broken baby scale so we could weigh the baby. We drove to the local Turner's sporting goods and found a $17 analog fish scale. I was so amused as we checked out and the cashier remarked how big I was and asked how close we were to having the baby. Shawn and I looked at one another and he replied, "Any time now". She could not have guessed how literal his answer was.
When the kids got home I was sitting on my bed breathing through contractions and waddling into the bathroom every few minutes to labor on the toilet (which felt fantastic!) so we explained that the baby may be coming. We all ended up on the bed as our eldest counted how long the contractions were and we worked on homework together. Shawn stayed with me and read so that when I would get lost in contracting he would take over the homework help. It felt absolutely magnificent to labor with my family and hear Shawn's strong, unwavering voice holding my concentration when I started to lose focus. I was suddenly freezing and started getting waves of chills that caused me to want to wrap up in blankets between contractions only to suddenly overheat with the intensity of an oncoming contraction and throw the blankets off. I continued to go and sit on the toilet for moderate periods just for the comfort of being able to trickle out and keep my bladder empty while feeling my pelvic floor completely relax. I had a few really soft bowel movements and soon realized that I was pretty well empty, my body had flushed for the coming labor pressures. It was adorable the way our eldest would follow me into the bathroom and let me lean on her from the toilet as she counted to 4 for me to breath in and 8 to breath out. She was so involved and so strong. I am immeasurably proud of that child. She is going to be a very strong hearted person.
Shawn started dinner and put on the movie "Clue" so we watched a movie and ate in the living room that evening as I continued to labor. By this point I could feel the baby moving down into my birth canal as I sat in my recliner. Our eldest offered me extra throw pillows so I could sit up straighter (infinitely more comfortable by this point) and made sure I was covered with a throw blanket. The contractions were now coming close together and lasting more than a minute. I was so contented with my family around me and happy feeling the baby move down, knowing that I had dilated fully and the time was close to welcome our newest member. As the movie finished Shawn somehow got everything cleaned up and the kids to bed. I say somehow because oddly I don't remember it happening. I am sure I gave goodnight affections and spoke with Shawn, but I don't remember. In hindsight this must have been transition. I was so concerned with waiting for that unmistakable urge to vomit to signal transition I did not realize how close this baby really was to his entrance to the world. Shawn was exhausted as he sat down next to me in the recliners and I asked him to head to bed, as it was now nearly 10:15p. He of coarse denied that he was tired and said he was going to stay up and labor with me (did I mention the poor man works two jobs, takes online classes and runs a home business? He needs his sleep the stubborn ox!). As soon as he sat down it seemed he dozed off. I remember trying to watch what was on television( some police chase video nonsense) and thinking, "I don't want to watch this" but every time I would start to think about the remote to change it a contraction would zone me out and all I could do was hang my head and roll my chin on my chest as I hummed. Amazing the instincts a woman has and never realizes!
At around 10:30p I decided in a moment of inspiration I was tired of this crap and needed some sleep, screw it I was going to bed. I turned off the TV and woke Shawn to tell him let's go to bed. As we turned out the lights I lost all thought of anything except how very tired I was and how I just wanted to give up and sleep. I remember thinking I would cry about it if I had the energy. I was freezing, cranky and felt like we had labored for an eternity. The funny thing is, labor never really hurt this time. I was calm and comfortable.
I slept for all of 15 minutes. At 10:44p I had a monster of contraction and woke Shawn demanding he get me into the bathroom I had to poo NOW. As he rolled out of bed I remember this intense pressure right in my birth canal and thinking Shawn was bouncing on the bed like on of the kids, so I screamed at him "Don't Bounce!" about three times. He helped me up and I hobbled to the toilet and pushed a little like I was going to poo. Nothing happened. I was distraught, totally and unfathomably exhausted and just wanted to give up. I asked Shawn to check me, just to put his fingers in and see how far the head was. Shawn leaned down and looked between my legs and suddenly had a washed out look on his face. I felt a rush of adrenaline as I asked, "What is it, what do you see?". Mind you he had just bent down and looked, He leaned up and said,"I think it's a head". I stuck my fingers down and felt a soft bulge at the entrance and asked him to find a mirror. As Shawn handed me my compact mirror from my make-up bag I was exhilarated and suddenly FULL of energy. I kept thinking, "This is it, this is it! Where's the urge to push?" as I slowly opened the compact and readied my self for what I would see. Sure enough, the was about a 1 1/2 inch diameter bulging bag of waters right at the opening to my vagina. I stuffed two fingers in to trace the edge of the mystery bulge to see if it was head or not. It was narrow in it's cylindrical shape so I decided it was just the bag. I looked up at Shawn and asked him where we were going to do this. He responded the bathroom was too small for him to move around me, let's go to the bedroom. As I got up and walked to the bedroom(10 steps at most) I had an almost surreal feeling of rightness. This is what birth should be. This is what labor should feel like. This is what marriage is. I was happy, completely happy and totally confident.
As soon as I reached the edge of the bed I just squatted. I don't know why, it just seemed right. As I did Shawn squatted behind me and held his arms out to my sides so I could brace myself. I had tried grabbing the sheets as I went into squat position and thinking that it didn't feel right, there was not enough grounding I needed something stronger and suddenly my husbands arms were there and I could lean back and use him as leverage. It was awesomely empowering to feel his solid strength behind me (Literally!) as I set out to bring forth our child.
And so I pushed to see what would happen. I still didn't have the "urge" but I tried to see what it would feel like. And WHOOSH my water broke and gushed out all over the bed skirt, completely missing the chux pad Shawn had laid out there that afternoon. I looked down and saw the water was greenish tinged and there was definite meconium in the water, I panicked. All you ever hear is how bad that is and how it can cause infections in the child's lungs among other nonsense. Within the same breath I had the overwhelming all encompassing urge to PUSH- NOW! Shawn told me he could not catch the baby like this and I began growl chanting "I can do it, I can do it". I pushed again, and it felt wonderful. The feeling of relief pushing gives after contracting for so long is nearly indescribable. It is this sudden and awesome relief. A feeling of progress unlike any other. It is truly amazing.
As I pushed again my panic over the meconium coupled with the relief of pushing caused me to push hard. I don't remember "the ring of fire" feeling of his head crowning but I remember feeling my perinium stretching to the limit and telling Shawn. He grabbed a hot towel from the crock pot on the nightstand (prepped for this purpose earlier) and held it to my perinium. Just as I felt relief from that I pushed again and felt the need to cry out, to release my energy through my voice. I told Shawn I was tearing near my clitorus and he instantly had another warm towel there. I was a volcano of power, the very essence of womanhood and the center of the Earth Mother was with in me. I was meant to do this. This was the perfect culmination of my existence as a woman. Shawn recounts it as the battle cry of a berzerker. He said as I began to scream out he expected a viking raid at any moment.
I pushed again and as I did I felt Vaughn's head begin to emerge. Somewhere in the back of my conscience I knew I had to hurry and get him out and clean his airways from the meconium. I didn't stop pushing. I shoved Shawn's hands out of the way and reached down to feel Vaughn's head. I kept pushing and as Shawn saw, the boy came out in a gentle glide into this world, head to toe.
Our third son and fourth child, Vaughn Robert was born at 11:05p on March 27th 2008. He weighed in at 9 lbs 14 oz and was 20 1/2 inches tall.
Now for the disclaimer. Those of you underage should NOT read this. Those of you with "tender constitutions" should not read this. And finally those who have any degrading comments, keep them to yourself.
drumroll please....
The labor started late wednesday night. At first it was only mild, almost gentle contractions coupled with a little blood on my toilet paper when I pee'd. They seemed like all of the braxton hicks I'd been having for weeks, until I realized they were somewhat stuccato. Nothing I could pinpoint, as they were nearly a couple hours apart, but they definitely had a rhythm to them. So soft and gentle I could sleep through them, I thought they were nothing.
Thursday morning at 7a Grandpa called from the hospital and said he needed help, come now. Shawn (my wonderful husband) had left at 6:30a to begin the morning rounds of dropping off the kids at school and battling traffic. I grabbed my keys and flew out the door to realize the contractions were still there and stronger. I sat with Grandpa (the nurses were in the middle of shift change when he called and were not responding to him to his liking) for a couple hours and just chatted. I got up to pee a few times, finding a thin snot-like bloody show each trip. The second pee trip I had the urge to poo and realized I had a very soft stool and much more show.
The contractions were much stronger too, although I kept thinking "This isn't really it, I couldn't be so lucky". After all, I had tried natural inductions like raspberry leaf tea, walking-walking-walking and orgasm unsuccessfully since my first due date three weeks earlier. I called my sister-in-law and told her I thought I was in labor so she said she would come down and sit with Grandpa and keep him company so I could leave. I then called Shawn to tell him I'd be on my way home any minute.
At about 10 or 10:15a I was having contractions 20 minutes apart, lasting a minute(that's a guess as I never timed them with any consistency). I texted Sammie(s-i-l) and asked her if she was coming to sit with Grandpa. She was on her way and there by 10:30a. When she arrived she walked me out to the truck and made me call Shawn, (to tell him I was leaving the hospital) who was headed home from dropping the kids off at school. He was already home and had been waiting since I had told him I was on the way after talking to Sammie the first time (oops I thought she'd be there quicker).
The drive home was interesting, if not short. I remember the contractions seeming to be shooting down my gas pedal leg and thinking, "Great. I'm going to run up someone's ass because my leg twitches". Shawn called me to see where I was and I had to admit I had pulled over into the e-lane until the contraction passed. I came home to my poor flustered husband eyeballing me like I was going to turn purple and balloon up like Violet from Willy Wonka. We spent the rest of the morning in relative calm, ate, did some chores, prepared our birthing area, bickered and I think just tried to keep our mind off of the gravity that we were really going to have a homebirth.
Homebirth was a decision we came to somewhere in the beginning of our pregnancy. We agreed a midwife assisted childbirth was preferable to going through the fiasco of a hospital birth again. I began researching homebirth, hospital birth alternatives and anything that remote resembled a possibility of working for us. Shawn would read what I put in front of him but I think he really was relying on the midwife to direct the show. I must have been in or near my fifth month of pregnancy when we decided to have our child unassisted. We had gone to meet with a midwife and have a prenatal exam with her. I suppose when we were all said and done I wasn't pleased with how routine she treated the situation. Sweet woman don't get me wrong, she just knew her job and treated us as such. When we left that appointment we discussed Shawn delivering our child. At first he looked at me like I was mad for even suggesting it, but by the time we got home we had agreed that it was only right for us to bring our child into this world, as we were the ones whom conceived him. This was going to be a chance for us to bond and heal me from our previous experience. I felt so out of touch with my womanly center after Aj's (our third child, second son) birth I saw this as an opportunity to heal that feeling of being "just a vessel".
I began reading everything I could get my eyes on about unassisted homebirth. Shawn ordered books about birthing positions, how-to guides for preparation and birth stories written from father's perspectives. He honestly was so much more involved and interested in this pregnancy knowing when the time came he was the one that would help me. The joke became "Dr. Shawn" thanks to his best friend Anthony's brand of humor.
It was interesting to see the varying reactions our friends and family had when we shared our plans. Those who did not support our decision grudgingly accepted it on the pretense that should a problem arise we would seek medical assistance immediately. I found it wonderful that some of our friends were not only supportive but excited for us. A dear group of friends were such great support when I really needed to hear I was making a valid decision. I wanted this birth to be a spiritually healing journey that would allow me to feel comfortable within my womanhood again. I wanted to experience this childbirth for what it should be. A bonding between husband and wife and a journey through the transition from pregnant to mothering.
Well, back to the labor then. Shawn called Sammie and asked her to pick the kids up from school, as he thought we were too close to be far from home and did not want to be gone when the time came. At some point mid afternoon before they made it home Shawn and I decided to replace our broken baby scale so we could weigh the baby. We drove to the local Turner's sporting goods and found a $17 analog fish scale. I was so amused as we checked out and the cashier remarked how big I was and asked how close we were to having the baby. Shawn and I looked at one another and he replied, "Any time now". She could not have guessed how literal his answer was.
When the kids got home I was sitting on my bed breathing through contractions and waddling into the bathroom every few minutes to labor on the toilet (which felt fantastic!) so we explained that the baby may be coming. We all ended up on the bed as our eldest counted how long the contractions were and we worked on homework together. Shawn stayed with me and read so that when I would get lost in contracting he would take over the homework help. It felt absolutely magnificent to labor with my family and hear Shawn's strong, unwavering voice holding my concentration when I started to lose focus. I was suddenly freezing and started getting waves of chills that caused me to want to wrap up in blankets between contractions only to suddenly overheat with the intensity of an oncoming contraction and throw the blankets off. I continued to go and sit on the toilet for moderate periods just for the comfort of being able to trickle out and keep my bladder empty while feeling my pelvic floor completely relax. I had a few really soft bowel movements and soon realized that I was pretty well empty, my body had flushed for the coming labor pressures. It was adorable the way our eldest would follow me into the bathroom and let me lean on her from the toilet as she counted to 4 for me to breath in and 8 to breath out. She was so involved and so strong. I am immeasurably proud of that child. She is going to be a very strong hearted person.
Shawn started dinner and put on the movie "Clue" so we watched a movie and ate in the living room that evening as I continued to labor. By this point I could feel the baby moving down into my birth canal as I sat in my recliner. Our eldest offered me extra throw pillows so I could sit up straighter (infinitely more comfortable by this point) and made sure I was covered with a throw blanket. The contractions were now coming close together and lasting more than a minute. I was so contented with my family around me and happy feeling the baby move down, knowing that I had dilated fully and the time was close to welcome our newest member. As the movie finished Shawn somehow got everything cleaned up and the kids to bed. I say somehow because oddly I don't remember it happening. I am sure I gave goodnight affections and spoke with Shawn, but I don't remember. In hindsight this must have been transition. I was so concerned with waiting for that unmistakable urge to vomit to signal transition I did not realize how close this baby really was to his entrance to the world. Shawn was exhausted as he sat down next to me in the recliners and I asked him to head to bed, as it was now nearly 10:15p. He of coarse denied that he was tired and said he was going to stay up and labor with me (did I mention the poor man works two jobs, takes online classes and runs a home business? He needs his sleep the stubborn ox!). As soon as he sat down it seemed he dozed off. I remember trying to watch what was on television( some police chase video nonsense) and thinking, "I don't want to watch this" but every time I would start to think about the remote to change it a contraction would zone me out and all I could do was hang my head and roll my chin on my chest as I hummed. Amazing the instincts a woman has and never realizes!
At around 10:30p I decided in a moment of inspiration I was tired of this crap and needed some sleep, screw it I was going to bed. I turned off the TV and woke Shawn to tell him let's go to bed. As we turned out the lights I lost all thought of anything except how very tired I was and how I just wanted to give up and sleep. I remember thinking I would cry about it if I had the energy. I was freezing, cranky and felt like we had labored for an eternity. The funny thing is, labor never really hurt this time. I was calm and comfortable.
I slept for all of 15 minutes. At 10:44p I had a monster of contraction and woke Shawn demanding he get me into the bathroom I had to poo NOW. As he rolled out of bed I remember this intense pressure right in my birth canal and thinking Shawn was bouncing on the bed like on of the kids, so I screamed at him "Don't Bounce!" about three times. He helped me up and I hobbled to the toilet and pushed a little like I was going to poo. Nothing happened. I was distraught, totally and unfathomably exhausted and just wanted to give up. I asked Shawn to check me, just to put his fingers in and see how far the head was. Shawn leaned down and looked between my legs and suddenly had a washed out look on his face. I felt a rush of adrenaline as I asked, "What is it, what do you see?". Mind you he had just bent down and looked, He leaned up and said,"I think it's a head". I stuck my fingers down and felt a soft bulge at the entrance and asked him to find a mirror. As Shawn handed me my compact mirror from my make-up bag I was exhilarated and suddenly FULL of energy. I kept thinking, "This is it, this is it! Where's the urge to push?" as I slowly opened the compact and readied my self for what I would see. Sure enough, the was about a 1 1/2 inch diameter bulging bag of waters right at the opening to my vagina. I stuffed two fingers in to trace the edge of the mystery bulge to see if it was head or not. It was narrow in it's cylindrical shape so I decided it was just the bag. I looked up at Shawn and asked him where we were going to do this. He responded the bathroom was too small for him to move around me, let's go to the bedroom. As I got up and walked to the bedroom(10 steps at most) I had an almost surreal feeling of rightness. This is what birth should be. This is what labor should feel like. This is what marriage is. I was happy, completely happy and totally confident.
As soon as I reached the edge of the bed I just squatted. I don't know why, it just seemed right. As I did Shawn squatted behind me and held his arms out to my sides so I could brace myself. I had tried grabbing the sheets as I went into squat position and thinking that it didn't feel right, there was not enough grounding I needed something stronger and suddenly my husbands arms were there and I could lean back and use him as leverage. It was awesomely empowering to feel his solid strength behind me (Literally!) as I set out to bring forth our child.
And so I pushed to see what would happen. I still didn't have the "urge" but I tried to see what it would feel like. And WHOOSH my water broke and gushed out all over the bed skirt, completely missing the chux pad Shawn had laid out there that afternoon. I looked down and saw the water was greenish tinged and there was definite meconium in the water, I panicked. All you ever hear is how bad that is and how it can cause infections in the child's lungs among other nonsense. Within the same breath I had the overwhelming all encompassing urge to PUSH- NOW! Shawn told me he could not catch the baby like this and I began growl chanting "I can do it, I can do it". I pushed again, and it felt wonderful. The feeling of relief pushing gives after contracting for so long is nearly indescribable. It is this sudden and awesome relief. A feeling of progress unlike any other. It is truly amazing.
As I pushed again my panic over the meconium coupled with the relief of pushing caused me to push hard. I don't remember "the ring of fire" feeling of his head crowning but I remember feeling my perinium stretching to the limit and telling Shawn. He grabbed a hot towel from the crock pot on the nightstand (prepped for this purpose earlier) and held it to my perinium. Just as I felt relief from that I pushed again and felt the need to cry out, to release my energy through my voice. I told Shawn I was tearing near my clitorus and he instantly had another warm towel there. I was a volcano of power, the very essence of womanhood and the center of the Earth Mother was with in me. I was meant to do this. This was the perfect culmination of my existence as a woman. Shawn recounts it as the battle cry of a berzerker. He said as I began to scream out he expected a viking raid at any moment.
I pushed again and as I did I felt Vaughn's head begin to emerge. Somewhere in the back of my conscience I knew I had to hurry and get him out and clean his airways from the meconium. I didn't stop pushing. I shoved Shawn's hands out of the way and reached down to feel Vaughn's head. I kept pushing and as Shawn saw, the boy came out in a gentle glide into this world, head to toe.
Our third son and fourth child, Vaughn Robert was born at 11:05p on March 27th 2008. He weighed in at 9 lbs 14 oz and was 20 1/2 inches tall.