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Post by Shannon on Jul 8, 2009 15:05:25 GMT -5
I knew it! Take THAT optimists of the world.
I'm a total dweller. Even when I try to think of of the bright side, I know it's only temporary and something is bound to go wrong eventually. Maybe there's some comfort in that, I don't know. And I'd rather be prepared than caught off guard. At least then its not devestating.
As for low self-esteem... I have a fair share of that, but it has it's ups and downs like anything else. I don't know if dwelling on it makes me feel better, but whatev. At least compliments are always a pleasant surprise. I'd rather that then being unpleasantly surprised to discover I'm ugly.
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Post by blackrose on Jul 9, 2009 8:22:50 GMT -5
I knew you'd like this article There was this book I was reading about once called 'The Positive Power of Negative Thinking'. It focused on things like this - the fact that negative thinkers often plan ahead, have alternate plans for if things go wrong, and are, in general, more prepared than pure optimists. Personally, as with most things, I think you need to have a balanced perspective - "hope for the best, prepare for the worst", as they say... Dwelling on things can be helpful if it helps you take control of things, or change things. But if you just dwell and go into a shame spiral because of it, then it's not so good... Some of my self-esteem issues are "good" in that it makes me do something about it - I'm unhappy with my weight, so I've started going to the gym. If I was so unhappy about my weight that I spiralled into a depression and ate to comfort myself, which would only increase the problem, then this would not be so good. Plus, I have a "healthy" does of egotism to help balance out some of my lack of self-esteem. (It makes sense, trust me... )
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Post by Denethor on Jul 10, 2009 15:05:49 GMT -5
I'm all for the mixed school of thought myself.
Passing moods might make one waver one way or the other in actual thinking, but it seems the topic here isn't whether one is thinking positively or negatively in different moods but more which one or both is the one people should strive for, and whether the answer is different for different types.
I'm a "both", because I don't like to strive for a positive or a negative outlook, but more an accurate one, and whether things are good or bad is a largely subjective judgment human beings make based on whether or not a given item or event is conceived as being of practical benefit for the ultimate aim of survival and well being (back, Spinoza, back!!). My ideal is to get the facts first and make the judgment later. "Thinking positively most of the time" is no better or worse than "thinking negatively most of the time"; it's a matter of what makes a given person happy, and no one else can tell you for sure what is best for you in that area. No book on general trends is going to make accurate predictions all the time for every single person.
It's like that thing about the guy who lives to be a hundred years old while smoking and drinking; sure we hear all the time that everyone who does that dies early from cancer, and statistically it does raise your risk, so your doctor will likely tell you such behavior is a bad idea, but no one can tell for sure for every single person. The time is fast approaching, in fact, when each of us will be able to get a DNA test and get a far more personalized projection of exactly which "bad" or "good" behaviors are bad or good for us as individuals and thus be able to make more informed decisions. Maybe this thinking pattern stuff is like that? Not sure how the self-esteem thing figures in to it, but it seems that these psychologists are now armed with a new statistic (everybody hide! It's a new statistic! ;D ) and it will be up to them, or other researchers, to shed some light on the connection.
Either way, when it comes to which thinking is bad or good for a person, nothing is a better tell than that person's own experience. No statistic, no expert, not even a good friend or a family member (including, perhaps especially, the mother) can match that. Which might be why many people report an easier time maintaining happiness as they get older, even in difficult circumstances.
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